It is important to understand that every great personal or historical time begins when a person or group of people realize that they are living a situation that is not what they want for their lives and decide to take action. When that realization comes, that “awareness ” is when we declare that we cannot continue living certain reality pretending to ignore our realization and our call to generate a change.
Many of us spend long years without realizing that something is not working in our lives. The job that we have, the partner with whom we share, friends around us, our lifestyle, the way we eat, dealing with our parents etc.
Sometimes we are lucky to discover for ourselves what is happening and take the first step. Sometimes life is responsible for crashing against the wall and shouting demands at us to do something about it and sometimes we hear a friendly and compassionate voice message that allows us to open our eyes and see why in our life is not happening what we want to happen.
By this statements we have the ability to generate new realities. It sounds obvious but many times we do not realize the immense power of a declaration either to open or close possibilities? With our statements must seek a balance, any total partiality takes us to extremes.
A common statement is the statement of “YES”. With this statement is how we become of service to others and to the world, we become partakers of accompanying others to coordinate actions contributing our grain of sand in the lives of others by putting ourselves at the service. “He who does not live to serve, not serve to live “: A colleague of mine once in a workshop I attended said a phrase that stuck in mind for a lifetime and it is said. Say “YES ” is to put ourselves at the service of others or ourselves, which leads to live in harmony, solidarity and cooperation, opening up a number of opportunities.
However, for many people the “YES” it has become a statement by default, which recur constantly and unconsciously. What happens in our life when we tend to say ” yes” to everything and everyone? Little by little we are losing our identity as individuals and without realizing begin to go over our limits, we no longer have time for ourselves, we begin to engage in more things that we can do and eventually begin to miss others and us.
In the same way that there is a statement of “YES”, there is also the statement “NO”. This statement has incredible power; It is to recognize that more than a declaration, is an inalienable right of human being which allows us to give priority to our own life, giving us the opportunity to focus on our goals and dreams and be available for others if necessary and if so determine. How many people do you know who find it difficult to say no and so carry great weight in their lives? Have you noticed how these people for not saying NO, undertake everything and everyone, leaving themselves last on the list or indeed never do what was really important to them. Have you noticed how in many situations these people fail to fulfill their promises and end up being wrong with many people.
Saying ” NO” is not selfish, it is to be aware that in order to bring something to others, we must first have that something for ourselves and if we have time, love, peace etc., to be able to give to others in the way they need. However, the constant, recurring and indiscriminate use of this statement makes the people around us no longer count on us and makes us without any input dispensable people. The flow in life is to seek harmony and balance, so you have to learn when to say yes and when to say NO.
A statement that now a day is very difficult for many is the declaration of forgiveness. This leads us to assume responsibility for the breach of an acquired or commitment of any action that generated hurt to others or ourselves. Forgiveness can arise when we ask forgiveness to others for something we did, when we forgive others for something they did to us or when we apologize to ourselves for something. We have punished ourselves and not allow yourself to move on with your lives.
Forgiving unlike what many think is no to ignore or forget something that happened or that we did. How many people are trapped in this false belief, pain, resignation and resentment because you have l buried it in the past, because you believed that you could very well continue with your lives? Has it ever happened to you that, with our parents, partners, friends etc, we decide to forgive but we end up looking for an expected behavior and at the mere memory of the episode that generated the ” forgiveness ” we explode and disturbs us?
TO FORGIVE, is a promise to another or if the case ourselves, that NEVER AGAIN will you rub it in the face that what hurt us. The declaration of forgiveness is liberating and brings inner peace. When we forgive two paths open: one can decide to sever ties with those that hurt us; or secondly, we can make new arrangements allowing for the possibility of re-build confidence between the parties. Forgiveness is a personal statement and is does not need conditional response by someone else. We can forgive without the person in front and even if they are no longer with us. TO FORGIVE breaks the chain that makes us victims and the use guilt as a means of punishment.
A final statement on which I want to reflect, is the statement of GRATITUDE. My realization is that in many cases is overestimated and sometimes even forgotten. How many times because of ego, pride or we miss out on thanking others or life itself for what we have and who we are. We forget that in this world we live temporarily and we depend on interaction with others. Gratitude is a recognition of those who are at the service of others and to life for what it has given us. We cannot ignore those people who give little or in great ways, give selflessly with love to serve others.
How often we take for granted the gesture of affection from our parents, the embrace of a friend, the generosity of a stranger, the attention of a waiter, words of encouragement, a compliment or the kiss our partners give to us to say goodbye in the morning. How often take for granted the fact of being alive and breathing every morning, how many times have we valued our health health and strength to start each day. The ability to see and appreciate all that life offers us is a gift that we can acquire and a way of life. To thank others, we will never take anything from us but if we accept it, it magnifies as people and in return we see the value of other begins; thanking life allows us to appreciate what we have and to recognize that nothing is forever and that’s why we appreciate it.
Gratitude is a statement that should become a life habit. When we appreciate we generate a wellbeing state in ourselves and in others, it recognizes the importance of other people in our lives and is what allows us to be aware of what we are and what we have. Here lies the big difference of people living in scarcity and those living in sufficiency and gratitude. For the first nothing is enough and always want more outsiders to feel full inside; for the latter, humbly acknowledge and appreciate the small and big things that make life a special space of time.
Gratitude allows us to recognize as the incredible human being who we are, teaches us to value life, to recognize and to not be so hard on ourselves, teaches that hard and strict judge who are looking at us with love and compassion.
I thank life for the opportunity of existence, for the family I have, for my wife who I see every morning when I wake up, my friends, my parents, where I live, the land where I was born, for allowing me to meet incredible people, for teaching me to receive my mistakes as learning opportunities, for believing in me and in others and especially for allowing me to dedicate my life to serving others.
I invite you to realize all that you are taking for granted and to raise awareness of the areas of your life where you live automatically. Reflect on where you need to say yes, when to say NO, apologize or be GRATEFUL. Let me go with you in your declaration of independence, in building your new reality as the first step to build the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Does aby of this make sense?
Feel free to contact me, schedule your first coaching session at no cost and let’s talk about this topic or any other thing that is upsetting you or you think there is room for improvement. Take the opportunity to pay attention to what is happening in your life to explore and talk about what you normally guard and do not share with others.