Nicolas Manotas

So close yet so disconnected

Have you ever wondered how are your personal relationships these days? Usually the first answer is, fine thank you …

However, I want to point out some patterns that affect every day more our way to connect and interact with others. In a world where technology is a great ally to communicate with people who are across the world we have begun to confuse and to communicate with those on our side as if they were living across the world.

I want you to remember how life use to be like when in the past the best plan was to meet in person with someone else and share either for hours or just a few minutes what was happening in their lives. When this was not possible, remember how thrilling it was to receive a letter from a friend abroad, I personally wrote letters and paid expensive phone bills just to keep in touch.

Those times are in the past, today there are cheap airplane tickets, cell phones text and calls with unlimited plans, video calls without increased cost and what do we do? we reduce it to communicate with others via text messages, sometimes we call and if ” we have time ” we meet up in person, depersonalizing increasingly personal relationships.

I don’t want sound like a whining grandfather who is against technology, in fact I constantly use it for other things. My reflection is focused to point out the habits that are   disconnecting us from people and that is why misunderstandings arise and there is no good communication.

Let’s discuss a very common way of relating today. You know someone sometimes ask for the phone number and sometimes you ask for the phone number. Sadly, in most cases, what people do is search for people by Facebook and begin to write if they want to hang out or worse, even if they have the phone number they still opt to invite the person via WhatsApp because now all world does and so that’s the way things are done now …

Why do this? more than a trend or a custom that is beginning to emerge, it is because human relationships are complex because it demands to be out of the comfort zone, from the way I think and a space to share opinions and ways of being different. It is easier to depersonalize a relationship to find “closeness ” because from a distance it is easier not to feel rejected, it is easier to hide our fears and NOT expose our vulnerabilities.

The problem when we depersonalize our relationships is that it is very difficult to communicate and understand. Has it ever happened that you to read to your friends or partner a messages written by us or by others and we seem like professional actors impersonating from our way of seeing life as we believe that X person said. You will notice that when you’re reading your tone of voice can increase or decrease we put severity or indignation of the issue and even notice how some letters are in UPPERCASE and depending on our interpretation this may be something kind or most of obscenities.

We live in a world where people increasingly seek to distract us from what is happening to us, what we think and what we feel. We seek to entertain our disconnected minds from what is happening in our lives that often the person with whom we live does not know what is happening to us because in the middle is a cell phone, the TV or the endless outings with friends where you have a good time but the conversations are about things that have no importance or contribution to our lives

Have you ever wondered why sometimes it is so difficult to meet a partner or if we have one, it is so difficult to communicate and seems you can’t  understand each other . This also happens with our parents, friends, bosses, co-workers.

We are mistaking communication and transmitting information and that is what is generating unhappiness in our lives and in those of the people around us.

I invite you to read this reflection with the benefit of inventory. Verify for yourselves if communication with others is something you have lost or who one that believe it can improve.

Human relationships are based on communication, agreements and the interpretation we give to events to what we hear, we hear and believe.

Does any of this make sense?

Feel free to contact me, schedule your first coaching session at no cost and let’s talk about this topic or any other that is upsetting you or you think there is room for improvement. Take the opportunity to pay attention to what is happening in your life and explore what you normally guard and do not share with others.

If you are in Miami, we can meet in person, or we can connect thru Skype

For more information, click here

Regards, Nicolas


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